Young children respond best to praise for good behavior.
However, sometimes they need to have limits set for them
or a space to cool off. Time-outs let you do this safely
and effectively!
A time-out is a form of discipline. Time-out can be used
when your child needs to calm down or when your child does
something wrong on purpose.
Time out works best when:
You stay calm but firm.
Your child is taught about time out before it is needed.
Your child understands the purpose of the time-out.
When you decide to use a time out:
Warn your child once before initiating a time out unless
there has been aggression.
Place your child in a boring but safe and non-scary
spot (e.g., a nearby chair or step where you can watch your child).
Toddlers may be placed on the floor or in a playpen.
Briefly state the rule that was broken or the reason the child needs
to take a time-out (e.g., "No hitting. Hitting hurts people," or "You are
getting a little too excited. You need a time-out.")
Time-outs should last approximately one minute per year of
age of a child. They should not last longer than a maximum of 10
minutes. At first even 15 seconds after being placed on the floor
will work.
Some people find that a timer that ticks and has a bell can be
helpful to signal the end of the time-out.
Children older than 6 may be able to decide for themselves when
they feel calm enough to leave time-out. Children older than 10 usually
do better with discussion, logical consequences or taking away privileges
instead of time-out. A logical consequence might be earning money to pay
for a broken window. Taking away a privilege might be no television for
a week.
If your child leaves time-out before it is over, you should put him or
her back and not say anything. You can hold them in place with your hands or on
your lap and restart the timer.
Children who can't sit by themselves should be calmly asked "Can you sit
alone or do I need to help you stay in time-out?". Most children prefer to sit
alone and can do this once they have had experience with both.
You should direct your child to an acceptable activity right after time
out ends.
Discussion of the incident should only be done after your child is calm
again. At this time, you can try to role play different ways to handle the problem
that landed the child in time out.
If "time outs" lead to increasing struggles or do not work, consult your pediatrician.
