Advises parents how to foster independence and avoid being overprotective with their children. If your child is feeling doubtful or insecure about his or her ability make decisions these suggestions may help.
As a parent, it's easy to be too protective of your children, guiding too
strongly each choice in their lives. Your child needs your help with what is
right and wrong, but as he grows, he'll need to make those decisions more
independently. If you have been overprotective with your child, there's a
high chance that he is insecure. Thus, your child may be feeling doubtful his
or her ability to do things and make decisions on his or her own. What can you
do to help?
Your child's self-esteem is important. It is also closely related to your
relationship with him or her. If your child has a positive and healthy closeness
with you, he or she will have high self-esteem. If your child has a negative, difficult
relationship with you, he or she will have negative self-esteem. Also if you are
controlling, your child will have negative self-esteem. Convince your child that
you believe in him or her, and then your child will believe in himself or herself.
Don't be afraid to let your child make decisions. Your child needs you to
show them what is wrong, dangerous, unacceptable, or in bad taste. But you also
need to allow him to make the decisions himself. This way your child will become
more independent and sure of his or her abilities.
When your child makes a mistake, correct it in a loving way that focuses
on the action, not the person. Avoid scolding your child in front of friends. Talk
to him privately, and discuss ways he could have behaved differently, and ask your
child for his thoughts.
It is important to make your child's punishments fair and short in length
(i.e. grounding for 1 day, not 1 month). You also need to give your child a chance
to earn back privileges. If your child doesn't think he get can get anything back,
there is no reason for him to try to improve his behavior.
Be supportive of your child's relationships with other adults. These include
other family members, neighbors, teachers, and so on. These adults can have a positive
impact on your child's growth and self-esteem. They can also help you raise your child
to be healthy, independent, and confident.
