Children who are punished frequently or who don't get enough attention might see themselves as "bad". Parents can make this better by punishing actions not behaviors. Other suggestions are also described.
Some children see themselves as just plain "bad".
There are a few reasons for this. They may be getting
too many punishments or a lack of attention from teachers
or parents. Also, parents or teachers may expect too much
from children, causing undue stress. You should help your child
change these relationships.
First, talk to your child, and find out who is making them
feel upset. Find ways to change the relationship that is
causing your child's guilt and poor self-image. If you think
your relationship with your child is the cause of your child's
feelings, try to direct your punishments on your child's actions,
not on them. Don't make comments about their character. For
example, say "Since you didn't pick up your toys, you need to
have a time out" instead of "Why are you so difficult and whiny?
Go to time out!". Talk with your child's teachers and discuss your
child's feelings with them. Talk about ways you can make your child feel
better.
If your child still doesn't feel better after you make these changes,
ask your doctor for a referral to a therapist.
Adapted from Healthy Steps. Edited and Compiled by the Center for Promotion of Child Development Through Primary Care 2011
