A note about your child being aggressive toward others

Children are typically not aggressive any more after age 3 years, except to siblings. Some reasons aggression may persist is if the child is not getting their needs met. These needs might include feeling protected, getting regular food and sleep, getting help managing strong emotions, and having a chance to use their skills. Not be able to communicate well makes kids very frustrated. They need an explanation that shows that you understand their thoughts and feelings. An example might be "Tommy took the toy [thought] and you are mad because you wanted it [feeling]." You can say this with frustration in your voice and your body to show you get it. This may quiet your child. You may then give a consequence saying "But you can't hit. Hitting hurts people. You are going to time out." Time out is a good consequence because kids don't like leaving their activities. It is also a chance to calm down. Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder are especially likely to be aggressive because they are impulsive and act without thinking. The best way to respond to aggressive behavior is by putting the child in Time Out without saying more than 6 words. The most common people to get hit are siblings because they are around each other a lot. Kids get jealous when it looks like things are unfair. The best prevention of jealousy is Special Time every day with each parent. It also helps to talk about the point of view of the sibling. For example, you might say "Suzie is mad because she is too small to eat popcorn like you." It is important that your child not see other people be aggressive. Being spanked or screamed at, seeing others hit, watching violent movies, or playing violent video games teaches children to be aggressive. Praise your child when he or she gets mad and uses his or her words instead of hitting. If you child is aggressive more than once per month ask your doctor for a more complete evaluation of any reasons.