Managing Transitions (for Parent of Children with ADHD)

When people think of ADHD, one of the first things that comes to mind is children not being able to focus in boring situations, like class or church. While inattention is a core problem in ADHD, many children with ADHD also have problems shifting their attention away from something they find really interesting. Everyone prefers to continue doing something fun, like building Legos or playing video games, rather than starting something boring, like getting dressed. For children with ADHD this problem "transitioning" can be so hard that it creates conflict. Once they become engaged in something, like playing their favorite video game, they do not want to stop. These problems transitioning from one activity to another can be a major source of frustration for parents.

Here are some common times when problems with transitions arise:

• Getting dressed in the morning
• Getting your child to come to sit at the table for a meal
• Getting out the door in the morning
• Getting your child to start taking a bath
• Ending "screen time"
• Getting your child to go to bed

You may wonder, how can paying too much attention be a problem for children who generally struggle with not paying attention?

• The answer is that the same part of the brain that controls paying attention also controls transitioning. Both of these things are part of executive functioning.
• Children with ADHD need something to be really interesting to pay attention. Most of the things they are supposed to be paying attention to, such as teachers, are not interesting enough to get them to focus. When something is really interesting to them, such as videogames, they become great at focusing! Have you ever thought, "Why can my child not listen to me for 2 seconds but spends hours playing video games?" The answer is that the video games have the right level of stimulation to get your child's attention. Your child may not have problems with attention if things like school were extremely stimulating. Unfortunately, that is not how the education system works, so your child will need help to focus.

You can help your child more smoothly get through transitions. The following methods may decrease or end your struggles during these times:

• Follow a daily routine. Following a routine helps children anticipate what will happen next. They can get in the habit stopping activities at a certain time and starting something new (e.g. television time is over at 8 and then it is bath time). Have your child wake up at the same time each day (even weekends). Have meals, play time, bath time, and bedtime at about the same time each day. You will need to have some things different on weekends, of course, but some things can be the same 7 days a week. For bedtime, use a bedtime routine every night. Reading to your child before bed is a great habit to get into.
• Give transitional warnings. A transitional warning is when you tell your child a few minutes in advance what is about to happen. For example, if your child is playing, tell him/her five minutes before dinnertime, "You need to stop playing and come to the table in five minutes." This gives your child time to finish what they are doing (for example, saving a videogame) and prepare for a transition. This simple step can prevent huge meltdowns!
• Take transitions slowly. Children with ADHD have a hard time being rushed. Allow them to transition slowly. If they are making ANY progress towards transitioning, think of it as a success. Giving yourself extra time in the morning or before dinner can make things go smoother.
• Make it a game. You can make transitions, such as cleaning up before dinner, a lot more interesting for your child by making it a game. A great example is "Beat the Clock." Set a portable kitchen timer and encourage your child to get everything picked up (or get dressed) before time runs out. This can really help children who are extra slow at transitioning and is a way to encourage quickness without "rushing."
• Use songs and music. Songs and music can signal to your child that one part of the day is ending and another is beginning. They work especially well for young children. The television show "Barney" has a great song for clean-up time ("Clean-up, clean-up, everybody everywhere, clean-up, clean-up, everybody do your share"). Another clean-up song is, "put your toys away, don't delay, then when you want 'em you can find 'em right away, put your toys away, don't delay, help your mommy have a happy day." You can also make up song for time to get dressed, meal time, time to leave and bedtime. Playing music can also help your child learn what time of day it is. Playing soothing music at bedtime can help your child relax and get sleepy.
• Reward and praise smooth transitions. When your child does a great job transitioning, tell him/her. Say "thank you for moving on," or "you did a great job moving on." You can also give a small reward like marks, stickers or extra "screen time" for improving transitions. Your child will learn to feel good about transitioning well.
• Avoid threats. Do not give threats such as, "I will leave if you don't hurry up." You should also avoid punishments such as spanking. These will only make the transition more difficult the next time; your child might feel afraid, angry or test you because you really didn't carry out the threat.
• Get your child's input. Tell your child that you understand how hard transitions are for him/her. Ask your child what each of you can do to make things smoother.