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The 12-Month Old

Resource Type

Parent Handouts and Info - Parent

Description

Provides information regarding a variety of topics related to 12-month-olds. Includes information on parent-child interaction, emotional-behavioral regulation, and development.

Ages

All Ages

Age Groups

Infancy (<1)

Web Address

http://resources.childhealthcare.org/cocoon/dtw/parent-text/social_development/the_twelve_month_old_0_3_pt.html

Languages

English

The 12-Month Old

The 12-Month Old

Parent-Child Interaction: Limit Setting

Dear Pediatric team:
Now that my 12-month-old can walk a few steps, it seems that she is always in danger of getting hurt. I am exhausted from following her everywhere and saying "no." What can I do?
Tired Mom

Dear Mom:
Great news! Your child is walking! Your baby's first steps are very exciting, but they are a challenge. Beginning walkers don't have the ability to keep themselves from getting hurt. That is your job. You can do many things to keep your child safe, but remember, bumps and bruises are a NORMAL part of toddlerhood. Try the following tips to help keep your child safe:

  1. Childproof your house again. A 12-month-old who is walking is different from a 9-month-old who crawls. Look at each room of your house and try to think like your 12 month old. What are "danger zones" for your child? What rooms can be made off-limits? What things should be put away? Ask your pediatric team for safety tips.
  2. Meet your child's developmental needs. Your 12-month-old wants to and needs to explore. Can you create safe areas for exploration in your house? Turn one of your kitchen cabinets into a toddler friendly play area. Store plastic containers, wooden spoons, and other kitchen items that your child can play with in them. Put safe toys within reach so children can help themselves!
  3. Try to save your "no's". By childproofing and creating safe play areas for your child, you have a place to redirect your child. Save your "no's" for important rules that keep your child safe, like "no touching the stove, it's hot."

Parent-Child Interaction: Temper Tantrums
Toddlers are fun, but lots of hard work. Temper tantrums are quite common and NORMAL for toddlers, but they can challenge even the most confident parent. Take some time to discuss temper tantrums with your partner and childcare provider. Then read on for more information about what temper tantrums are and how you can manage them with your child. Remember to ask your pediatric team for help with this parenting challenge!

Children tantrum when they are frustrated and overloaded. The push/pull feelings of wanting to grow up but wanting to be close to you can lead to episodes of overload. So can being sick, hungry, or tired. The toddler can fall apart when faced with obstacles to his or her desires or can simply fall apart because it all gets to be too much. There are many things that parents can do to deal with their child's temper tantrums and minimize their impact on both parent and child...

  1. Remember, tantrums are normal. They typically appear at around 15 months of age and can vary in intensity, duration, and longevity, depending on your child's temperament.
  2. Prevention is the key. Anticipate when your child may get overloaded and tantrum. Help your child by changing your behavior. Is your child too tired or hungry to go to the store with you? Are transitions hard for your child? Is that forbidden object still within your child's sight and reach?
  3. Stop the tantrum before it starts. Distracting your child with an appealing object or some nurturing attention may stop the tantrum before it starts. Draw your child's attention away form a situation that may spark a tantrum.
  4. Give choices. You can diffuse a tense situation by offering your child choices. If your child can't play with the phone, can you offer a toy instead? If it is bedtime, can your child choose what books to bring to bed? Choices give some control back to your child, but your rules can still stand firm.
  5. Pick your battles. Your limit setting will be most effective and your child will be less confused and overwhelmed if you have only a few simple rules to follow. What are the most important rules for your child's well-being? What limits are necessary to keep your child safe?
  6. If a tantrum happens, let your child work it out. Your role is to keep your child safe during a tantrum, not to stop it. Your child needs to work through the inner turmoil. You may have to hold your child gently, take him or her to a safe place to cry it out or just wait for your child to be finished.
  7. Be ready with a hug. Your child needs to be reassured of your love after a tantrum. Words and gestures of affection are important.
  8. Do not give in to your child's demands. Letting your child have what he or she wants to stop a tantrum will only send a message to your child that tantrums get you what you want.
  9. Check in with yourself. Never react to your child in anger or frustration. Tantrums can be very hard to manage. You may need a time out for yourself before you respond to your child.
  10. Ask for help. Your pediatric team is available to help. There are a lot of resources available to assist you in managing your child's challenging behavior.

Emotional-Behavioral Regulation: Hello World, It's Me
Toddlers are busy, curious, and newly independent. They are learning more about themselves and their place in the world. You may discover that as your child strives for more independence, he or she may have a greater need to be close to you and "cling." The second year of life brings with it the push-pull of "holding on and letting go." This is the beginning of the independent toddler years, but your child still needs and wants to be close to you!

The 12-month-old continues to develop and express a range of emotions through laughter, tears, facial expressions, and actions. Your child's temperament may mean that your child is very intense emotionally or more reserved and less expressive. As you and your child grow together, you will discover more of your child's unique sense of self, emotional style, and how your child manages to push-pull of toddlerhood.

Development I: Imitation and Practice
Imitation and practice are important learning tools for the 12-month-old. Practice leads to mastery of skills and that is very important for your toddler. You may find your toddler doing the same thing over and over again many times. You may also discover your toddler imitating words and movement. Children are first able to imitate simple gestures and sounds. Next, they progress to imitating more complex movements, sounds, and words. Your child may be able to imitate the gestures, animal sounds, simple words and phrases that you use together when talking, singing or playing.

Your child's temperament can affect your child's use of imitation and practice skills. Intense or persistent children may be very challenging at this time because they can be very driven to practice the same behavior, even if you try to stop it! Children who are more cautious, distractible, or easily frustrated may need more help from adults to try out, stay with, and master new skills. A child's use of imitation is also shaped by temperament and language ability.

Add a safe, plastic, hand-held mirror to your child's toy box. Toddlers love to look at themselves in the mirror. Make sad, happy, and funny faces together. Talk about what you see.

Finger plays and simple songs are a fun and easy way for your child to practice language and movement. Make songs and games a part or your child's daily routine in the car, at bathtime, or at bedtime.

Books and reading aloud are important-and fun-tools for learning. It's never too early to start! Make books and reading aloud part of your child's daily routine. Your child may enjoy a story at bedtime. Keep sturdy board books in the toy box and diaper bag!

Development II: Big Steps and Words
Two big milestones-walking and talking-are coming soon! At around 12-15 months, you may find your child standing alone and taking those first few steps. Your child's skills may develop quickly form walking with help, to taking a few steps alone, to walking with an awkward gait. Before you know it, your young toddler will be walking well and running!

Language skills are also growing. You may discover that your child understands simple directions, can point to named objects and even say some words! Children usually understand more words than they can say at this age. Some children have lots of words now and some have just a few. Remember, there is a wide range of what is considered "normal" in language development. Children develop language at different rates and in different ways. One child's temperament may be quieter or more reserved than another child's. That can affect language development too. If you have any questions or worries about your child's language skills, ask your pediatric team for help.

Adapted from Healthy Steps. Edited and Compiled by the Center for Promotion of Child Development Through Primary Care

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