Separation anxiety is a normal part of development. Children experience it when their mother
leaves them, even for a moment. They may cry, scream, fuss or become very clingy. It is most common for
children under 3 years of age. There are two peaks of separation anxiety, which occur around age 8 months
and 18 months. These peaks happen at the same time as major developmental tasks. At 8 months of age infants
learn object permanence. Out of sight doesn't mean out of mind anymore. Infants start to understand that
when a toy is hidden, it has not disappeared. It still exists and they will actively look for it and express
disappointment if they cannot find it. Similarly they come to understand that even though you are not with
them, they can miss you and thus they cry for you. Children can be clingy and very upset when separated from
their mothers. This is called stranger anxiety and it is normal. The other peak in separation anxiety occurs
around 18 months of age. Children are mobile and independent now. Suddenly they become conscious that this
allows for more separations from mom. Children at this age may become distraught at being separated from
their mother. Even being left with someone they know can be very upsetting.
Sometimes separation anxiety can become more severe. This might be due to family stress, illness, a traumatic
event or other problems. Some children are just prone to feeling very anxious. In these cases, separation
anxiety might still occur after age 3. If you are concerned this sounds like your child, talk to your pediatrician.
