Stranger Anxiety/Stranger Awareness
You may notice that your child is now more aware of unfamiliar adults.
Once, your child would go to anyone who wanted to hold him. Now he looks scared and
worried when a stranger approaches. Sometimes even a relative may make him scared.
Some children can be open, affectionate, and outgoing with parents. But then they
become clingy, fearful, and upset around strangers. Although this can be stressful
to parents, it's a sign that your child is developing as expected. He is aware of
and attached to different people in his life. Stranger awareness is very typical
in older infants. Their attachment to you is strong-and they want the comfort of you.
This may be an especially tough time to introduce new people into your child's life.
Here are some strategies that help both parents and children:
- Don't push. Respect your baby's fears. Don't force your baby to interact
with adults, especially with hugs and kisses.
- Comfort your baby. Hold your baby, hug and be reassuring. Help your child
feel safe. Use simple words to describe your baby's concern. ("Are you worried that I'm going bye-bye?")
- Give your baby experiences out in the world. Take your baby lots of different places
and see lots of different people. This will help your baby get used to being around a variety of
people. And he will feel safe being with you.
- Introduce a new person slowly. If you have a new person spending time with your child,
let your baby visit with that person a few times with you. Then try leaving your child alone with that person.
- Make a clean exit. If you are going to leave your child with someone else, do it quickly with
a hug and a smile then get out of sight. You can listen from around the corner to reassure yourself that he
has settled down if you need to. Your baby looks at any uncertainty you have and takes her clue from that
about how upset to be.
- Trust your baby. If your baby becomes very upset with a specific person respect it.
He may really feel threatened or unsafe. Check it out or talk with your pediatric clinician.
Adapted from Healthy Steps. Edited and Compiled by the Center for Promotion of Child Development Through Primary Care 2011