A good way for children to learn how to make choices for themselves is to use a standard set of questions for each decision. This way children feel that their requests are being carefully considered. Also parents get a few minutes to think about the issue instead of just saying "NO!". Using this process for small decisions as well as large ones will also decrease tension between you and your child. Children will always know on what basis decisions are being made. Decisions will not seem arbitrary or unfair. Here are some examples of questions you might try using.