Your Concerns about Lying, Stealing, and Destroying Property, Preschool

You said that your child sometimes lies and steals. Your child may lie so that s/he can get out of being punished. Your child may be fascinated with dangerous things such as matches and fire. S/he may rip up papers or ruin others' things when s/he is angry. When your child does these things it is upsetting to you and/or other adults. Your child appears to have some problems with lying, stealing, and destroying things.

Your child may be doing one or more of the following:

• Taking things from stores without paying for them
• Hiding things they've stolen
• Stealing money from parents
• Lying to cover up things s/he has done wrong
• Showing a fascination with matches/fire
• Lying so that s/he doesn't get punished

It is possible that your child is also doing one or more of the following:

Fighting with or Hurting Others

• Bullies, threatens or frightens others on purpose
• Starts physical fights
• Has used a weapon (e.g. a bat, brick, broken bottle, knife or gun) that could hurt someone else
• Hurts people or animals on purpose
• Has attacked someone and stolen from them

Breaking Things or Setting Fires

• Sets fires on purpose
• Breaks or ruins other people's things on purpose

Lying or Stealing

• Has broken into someone else's building, house, or car
• Lies to obtain goods or favors or to get out of things
• Steals items when others are not around (e.g. shoplifting)

Does Not Follow Rules

• Often stays out at night even though parents tell him/her to come home earlier
• Runs away from home

Warning Signs that Things are Getting Worse:

• Your child is doing several of the things listed above within a short time period
• Your child gets suspended from school/daycare
• Your child's behavior is upsetting you more
• Your child is stealing things of value
• S/he is hanging out with friends who have similar problems

If you think these problems are getting worse talk to your child's doctor, even if you have discussed these things before.

Adapted in part from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) Facts for Families© series (1997) and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Primary Care (DSM-PC) (1996).