Your Concerns about Fighting, Hitting, or Bullying, Preschool

You said that your child often fights with others. Your child may also use bad language, or break things. When your child does these things, it is upsetting to you and/or other adults.

Your child may be acting in one or more of the following ways:

• Fights at school or in the neighborhood
• Swears or uses bad language
• Hits or tries to hurt self when angry or frustrated
• Breaks things (with some serious damage)

It is possible that your child may also be doing one or more of the following:

• Often has temper tantrums
• Argues a lot with adults
• Refuses to do what adults tell him/her to do
• Tries to annoy or upset people on purpose
• Blames others for his/her mistakes or behavior
• Is touchy or easily annoyed by others
• Often angry; Holds a grudge
• Mean and hateful talking when upset
• Seeks revenge or tries to "get even"

Fighting with or Hurting Others

• Bullies, threatens or frightens others on purpose
• Starts physical fights
• Has used a weapon (e.g. a bat, brick, broken bottle, knife or gun) that could hurt someone else
• Hurts people or animals on purpose
• Has attacked someone and stolen from them

Breaking Things or Setting Fires

• Sets fires on purpose
• Breaks or ruins other people's things on purpose

Lying or Stealing

• Has broken into someone else's building, house, or car
• Lies to obtain goods or favors or to get out of things
• Steals items when others are not around (e.g. shoplifting)

Does Not Follow Rules

• Often stays out at night even though parents tell him/her to come home earlier
• Runs away from home

Warning Signs that Things are Getting Worse:

• Your child is doing several of the things listed above within a short time period
• Your child gets suspended from daycare/preschool
• Your child's teachers are concerned
• S/he spends a lot of time with friends who act in a similar way

If you think these problems are getting worse talk to your child's doctor, even if you have discussed these things before.

Adapted in part from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) Facts for Families© series (1997) and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Primary Care (DSM-PC) (1996).