Helping Siblings Get Along

Getting along with a sibling can be tough for your child. He is likely to feel jealous of the time, attention and toys the other child gets. Your children probably also compare themselves whether they admit it or not. They don't necessarily take into account that they are younger or older when they decide that they have more chores or aren't as good at something compared with their sibling. You may be especially worried about how your children are getting along if you planned your family in hopes that the siblings would be lifelong friends. Here are some ideas about what you can do to help your children get along well now and in the future.

• Keep your expectations for behavior, rules about household responsibilities, and privileges consistent with each child's age and level of maturity. Be sure your children know that your expectations are different because children are different ages.
• Help your child see the advantages that come with age and development. For example, younger siblings get more time with parents for younger siblings, and older children get more privileges and freedom.
• Praise and comment on your child's individual strengths and skills
• Avoid comparing your children
• Spend Special Time with your child every day at every age. This means spending about 15 minutes playing with each of your children individually. (After age 9 don't call it Special Time anymore but do it anyway!)

Adapted from Jellinek, M. (2000). Bright Futures in Practice, Mental Health