Masturbation in toddlerhood

Masturbation can be awkward to talk about. But it is very normal. Children's bodies show signs of physical arousal from a very young age. Sometimes even before they are born. This arousal can happen during sleep or normal daily routines. For instance, it might happen during changing a diaper, taking a bath or getting dressed. Very young infants find the physical sensation feels good. Most children will learn how to create this feeling in themselves by age 12 months. After age 3 most girls become more private about it, boys later. Few children see adult sexual situations. They might see them at home, on television, videos or magazines. But if they do, they may be aroused by it or also copy it. It is the adult's job to protect children from this confusing stimulation.

There is nothing harmful about masturbation. It does not cause physical or emotional problems, nor is it a sign of these problems. Try not to overreact when you see your child masturbating, as difficult as this may sound. You might feel embarrassed or surprised when you see your child masturbating. Avoid saying anything that might cause your child to feel guilty or fearful. Stay away from using discipline or punishment. It might cause your child to feel badly about themselves or their bodies. Here is what you can do.

• Teach your child to limit this behavior to an appropriate time and place. It is important to teach your child not to masturbate in public. We live in a society where this is not accepted. When you see your child masturbating, gently and calmly remind your child to do that in privacy. Suggest appropriate times and places such as your child's bedroom.
• Assure yourself that your child's behavior is not abnormal. Remember that masturbation is very common. It is not harmful to your child's body or mind. However, you may have concerns that the frequency with which your child masturbates has increased. While many children masturbate a lot (several times a day), it often occurs when they are bored. They can usually be distracted with ideas for other things to do. For example, going to the park, reading with a parent or caregiver, or playing with a friend.
• Sometimes masturbation may be a sign of a problem. If your child has one of these risk factors talk to your child's doctor. These situations usually deserve treatment for their own sake.
• High level of stress.
• Anxious by nature.
• Very impulsive (e.g. Attention Deficit Disorder).
• Trouble understanding social rules.
• Masturbating openly at older ages.
• Masturbation may be a sign that a child has been sexually abused. Here are some signs of when masturbation might mean your child has been abused. See your doctor if your child:
• Masturbates and looks worried;
• Prefers to masturbate instead of normal activities;
• Strongly protests being interrupted while masturbating;
• Has other sudden changes in behavior such as sadness, anxiety, sleep trouble, toileting accidents/refusal or aggression;
• Touches other children's private parts;
• Plays out humping or putting objects into genitals of dolls or playmates.
• If you have any concern, it is better to talk with your doctor than to wait or worry.

Adapted from Healthy Steps Interactive Multimedia Training and Resource Kit, 2000.