Am I gay?

Many adults who are gay say they always knew since they time they were young children that they were different. But when you trying to figure it out, things might not seem so clear! There can be a great deal of pressure to be sure of your sexuality. Sometimes there is pressure to "come out". And sometimes there is pressure to "fit in" and act straight. All of this can be overwhelming to deal with alone.

Here are some you should know.

• Figuring all this out takes time. There is no rush.
• There is no one way to "know" if you are gay.
• Sexuality is widely variable. Often people are not simply "gay" or "straight".
• Many people are gay. Somewhere between 3-10% of people are estimated to be gay, lesbian or bisexual.
• Being homosexual, lesbian, gay or bisexual is not a choice. People are born this way.
• Find people to talk about your feelings. Support groups made of other teens can be really helpful in figuring out how you feel. Or talking to a therapist is very private and totally confidential. But if you are not ready to talk face-to-face, support hotlines are also helpful. They are free, anonymous and confidential. It is easy to find them on the web (see below) or you can ask your doctor or school nurse.
• If you are experimenting with sex, make sure you practice safe sex. Always use condoms! Know the risks of STDs, pregnancy and AIDS.
• Figuring all this out can sometimes make people feel depressed or stressed out or like giving up. If this sounds like you, tell your parent, doctor or school nurse. You are not the only one feeling this way! They can give you lots of ideas on ways to get through this and feel better.

Books: GLBTQ: The Survival Guide for Queer and Questioning Teens by Kelly Huegel, 2004.
Is It a Choice?: Answers to 300 of the Most Frequently Asked Questions about Gay and Lesbian People, by Eric Marcus, 2000.
Organizations:
OutProud, The National Coalition for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender Youth, 369 Third Street, Suite B-362, San Rafael, CA 94901-3581. On the web at http://www.outproud.org/. Click on Queer America (or go to http://www.queeramerica.com/) to get a listing of support groups and organizations for questioning, gay, lesbian or transgender youth near your hometown.