Parents' Feelings about Colic

Colic is when babies intensely cry for more than 3 hours a day, 3 or more days a week. Many parents feel overwhelmed when children cry uncontrollably. When older children or grown-ups cry it is usually because they are sad, angry, or in pain. They have words to explain their feelings and can ask for help. Then the people know what to do to help. But when an infant has colic, parents must listen to their baby's cries, often feeling that they have tried to help but failed. The baby appears distressed and in pain and there seems to be no end in sight.

Many parents feel guilty and inadequate because they are unable to get their child to calm. These are normal feelings. It is important to remind yourself that parents and caregivers are not to blame because they do not cause colic.

Many parents also feel resentful of their baby who may have disrupted a relatively peaceful household. Feeling resentful can make parents feel even more guilt. These feelings are also normal.

• Don't be afraid to ask for help from your partner or friends and relatives. All people need a break from infant crying. Let someone else take over for a while and get where you can't hear the crying.
• If there is no one to take over and you need a break, it is okay to put your baby in the crib and go out of the room. Take deep breathes and try to calm away from your child. Check at least every 15 minutes and pick him/her back up once you are calm..
• Your mood can make dealing with crying even harder. It is common for mothers to have the blues in the first days after delivery. If you are still feeling "down" after a few weeks or feel severely depressed at any time, call your doctor. You may have postpartum depression that is very treatable. You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of your child.
• Talk to your doctor or nurse practitioner if you think your baby is sick, Call for help immediately if you feel that you are losing control and could hurt your baby. You can the national parent hotline at 1-855-427-2736 for help and someone to talk to.
• Remember, colic usually ends by three to four months and babies emerge healthy and happy. This time of intense crying will not last forever.

Adapted from Healthy Steps.