You reported you have not gotten help with using alcohol or drugs because you would feel embarrassed. You may be relieved to know that professionals, like substance use counselors, are obligated to keep their patients' information private. That is, it is possible for you to privately get help with using alcohol or drugs. These professionals have likely worked with many people who have struggles similar to yours. Many programs for substance use have group treatments. That is, you would be with people who have similar stories, which may make sharing more comfortable for you. If you are open to trying to get help privately from a professional, a good place to start may be asking your doctor or your child's doctor for referrals. Also check out http://www.samhsa.gov/treatment/ to begin finding help in your community.