You reported you have not gotten help with using alcohol or drugs because you feel getting help will hurt your reputation. You may be relieved to know that professionals, like substance use counselors, are obligated to keep their patients' information private. That is, it is possible for you to privately get help with using alcohol or drugs. If you are open to trying to get help privately from a professional, a good place to start may be asking your doctor or your child's doctor for referrals. Also check out http://www.samhsa.gov/treatment/ to begin finding help in your community.