How Do Children Learn Right from Wrong? (Adapted from Healthy Steps)

Children learn how to be kind and caring by watching others behave in a caring way. They learn how NOT to act by feeling badly for people they have hurt, and by being told appropriately when their actions are wrong. Children generally learn to follow rules in two ways: by being praised for following them, and by practicing breaking them and coming to associate breaking rules with reasonable consequences. The best way to encourage rule-following in your child is to:

• Give lots of praise for following rules
• Try to provide your child with a group of peers where rules are respected and followed.
• Let your child know how much you love her. Children who feel loved and valued will be more willing to follow rules.
• Allow your child independence whenever reasonable. Early childhood is a time for testing limits and learning to balance the need for independence with the need for structure and limits.
• Oppositional behavior may result if children don't experience a good balance between independence and structure.

Adapted from Healthy Steps. Edited and Compiled by the Center for Promotion of Child Development Through Primary Care 2011