Create a Point System (for parents of teens)

Many children, especially child with ADHD or Oppositional Defiant Disorder, need frequent rewards. One way to motivate your child to have the behaviors you want is by creating a point system. In a point system, your child earns points for bits of appropriate behavior. After they earn a certain number of points, they can cash in their points and "buy" things they now take for granted such as TV or for special rewards. The steps below outline how to set up a point system.

Step 1: Decide how you are going to keep track of points.

• Marks in a notebook. Preteens and adolescents may respond best to having a notebook to record points. Get a notebook to specifically record points. Write each day of the week on the left hand side and have space on the right hand side to record points. Also, have a space to record the number of points your child uses each day. Then have a column for the total number of points your child has at the end of the day. Once a week total all the points your child has left.
• Poker chips. Buy some colorful poker chips and get a container to be used as the "bank" (for example, a fish bowl or shoe box). The different colored chips can be worth different values (for example, blue chips = 5 point, red chips = 1 point). Put chips in the bank as they are earned. Take points out of the bank as they are cashed in for rewards.

Step 2: Decide what things will earn your child points. You can award more points for more difficult tasks. Work with your child to decide what will earn points. Be sure to write the list down and hang it in a place you and your child will see every day (for example, on the refrigerator). It is important to remember that children rarely start doing tasks without a reminder. This should not be required in order to earn points. If they do, they should be given Bonus points!

Sample points:

• Using "please" when asking for something = 1 point
• Walking by sibling without punching them = 1 point
• Getting dressed in the morning = 5 points
• Coming to table promptly at meal time = 5 points
• Taking out trash when reminded= 10 points
• Completing 30 minutes of homework = 25 points

Step 3: Decide on rewards your child can buy with earned points. Rewards should not be expensive or elaborate or you won't want to persist in this system. You can reward your child with activities they like to do, not just things. Be sure these privileges do not "cost" too much. You want your child to be able to buy privileges every day. If they cannot buy rewards on a regular basis, they will lose interest and this program will not work. Really special things (for example, going to a concert) can "cost" more. You can set limits for how your child can cash in their points. For example, your child may only be able to buy 1 hour of television time per day.

Sample rewards and point value.

• Playing board game = 3 points
• Watching television (30 minutes) = 5 points
• Playing video games (30 minutes) = 5 points
• Dessert at home = 25 points
• Allowance ($5) = 50 points
• Having a friend sleep over = 150 points
• Going to a concert = 200 points

Step 4: Start using your point system.

• Give your child points frequently throughout the day
• Be generous in giving points for behaviors that are even a little bit better than their usual. This moves behavior in the right direction gradually.
• Be enthusiastic about giving points. Tell your child what s/he did and how you feel about it every time they get points (for example, "It really makes me proud when you wash the dishes or do your chores without complaining").
• You should control giving the points, not your child.
• Be sure to charge for things the child takes for granted every day (for example, TV time). Record the number of points they used. If you are using poker chips, you can take out chips for the number of points they use as they are used. If you are using a notebook, subtract the points used. Calculate the total of what is left each day.
• At the end of the week let your child know the total number of points they have in the "bank." They may want to use these points for something extra special.

Things to keep in mind:

• If you have not noticed a change in your child's behavior in a couple of weeks, you may need to make changes. You may have the price of rewards too high or may not be giving points often enough. Adjust the points you give and the price of rewards to what works for you and your child. Your child should be getting lots of points every day and your child should be buying rewards every day.
• Remind your child about the point system throughout the day. Do not expect your child to remember. Encourage, but do not bribe, your child to do things to get points. Ask your child if he/she wants to cash in points.
• Do not take points away for misbehavior. Use separate punishments (i.e. taking away other privileges) to discourage misbehavior. If needed, you can restrict when your child can use his/her points as a result for misbehavior, but do not take the points out of the bank. Kids feel that this is unfair.
• If your child asks for a point for something that is not on the list, go ahead and give a point. This means your child is beginning to monitor their own behavior.
• You can give an extra point or two for your child doing something with a good attitude.
• You may wonder how long you have to do this. You do not have to do it forever, but you should commit to doing it for at least 2 months. Over time, your child will learn good habits and you will get in the habit of praising frequently. It is very important that you praise your child when you give points. Your child will start to feel rewarded by your praise alone. The next step is for the child to evaluate his/her own actions. Ask your child how s/he thought s/he did. Eventually you can stop using the point system but continue to praise your child and give special rewards or privileges for good behavior.