Helping Children Cope with Anxiety

It is common for children to have fears and worries. Some children have so much anxiety that it makes life hard. It is hard for parents to see their children struggle and worry. There are steps you can take as a parent to help your child cope with, or even overcome anxiety. Below are some strategies to try to help your child. Even if your child continues to experience anxiety, they need to know you love and accept them the way they are.

• Encourage your child to talk about his/her fears or worries. Let your child know that having some anxiety is normal. Be accepting, not judging. Do not make fun of your child or criticize him/her. This can make your child not want to talk to you in the future about anxiety. If you are really concerned about your child, tell him/her. Talk to your child about ways you can help.
• Encourage, but do not force, your child to face his/her fears. Children can overcome fear when they are gradually exposed to the thing they fear. If your child is scared of dogs, for example, start off by showing pictures of dogs, reading picture books about dogs, or just talking about dogs. Praise your child for any bravery and back off if your child gets too scared. If your child can overcome seeing pictures of dogs and talking about dogs, you can try watching TV shows with dogs in them. Over time, your child may be able to be around a real dog without being scared. Praise any bravery your child shows. Never force your child to be around something that scared him/her - this can make things much worse.
• Have your child avoid caffeine. Caffeine can make people feel nervous or jittery and make anxiety worse. Caffeine is found in many sodas, coffee, tea, chocolate, and some medicines (for example, Excedrin).
• Teach your child relaxation strategies. Sitting in a quiet place and doing deep breathing (through the nose and out the mouth) is relaxing for many people. There are also relaxation CDs available.
• Lead by example. Children can learn to worry from their parents. You can help reduce your child's anxiety by staying calm in stressful situations and voicing a positive attitude (for example, "things didn't work out but it will be okay").
• Give your child reassurance that he/she is safe. Giving a brief statement like, "you're okay," or "you are safe," can decrease children's worry. Give these statements once and then move on-giving lots of reassurance can actually make anxiety worse.
• If your child is going somewhere that makes him/her worry (for example, a place he/she has never been before), try using distraction. Make up a silly game or song to take your child's mind off worry.
• Encourage your child to find something he/she does well. All children need something they can take pride in like doing a hobby, playing a sport, or being part of a group. Encourage your child to get involved in activities at school and in your community. Having something to take pride in can greatly help improve the self-esteem of children with anxiety.
• Use routines and consistency. Do the same things (for example, waking up, eating meals, bedtime) at about the same time every day. This gives children a sense of security and lets them know life is predictable.
• Be predictable. Use rewards and consequences consistently every day. If children are rewarded for something one day and punished another, they will begin to feel uneasy. Show them that the world is predictable and they do not need to worry, by giving consistent responses.
• Get help. If you are really worried about your child's anxiety, it is best to get help from a professional therapist. Cognitive-behavior therapy has been shown to reduce anxiety in children. It helps children learn the connection between their fears, worries, and actions. It also teaches strategies to deal with anxiety. When picking a therapist, make sure he/she is trained in cognitive-behavior therapy and has experience working with children with anxiety problems.